Thursday, September 27, 2007

last day of rest

Last marking day today. I'm gonna enjoy while i still can. After that it's back to study from tommorrow onward. Honours Day tommorrow as well...

I don't know why, but this suddenly came to mind:

"My motivation is watching the ants(across the pathway to upper shed) always working everyday"- Bill

To think we actually tried to step on them...

Monday, September 24, 2007

growing up.

Suddenly i feel like time has just gone by me so fast again. Yi was supposed to remind me of SATs but yeah, shit happens. Now i'm wondering whether to do SATs at all. I know i've been bent on leaving the country for "greener pastures". The so called more classy places in europe, the bright lights of london and the four seasons etc. If i remember one of my earlier post i said study hard and get scholarship even. That was till recently when i've got a sudden change of heart. Maybe i'm really going nuts now. Or maybe it's my family background that my thinking is just so screwed up. Call me crazy if you want...

I think it started with the world champs. The sight and sounds not many have the chance to experience first hand. I'm sure many of you readers won't know how it feels to line up beside titans, to walk amongst them and interact with them. These people so dedicated to their passion, they forgo education, harm themselves with medication, spend hours repeating an action which doesn't really have any significance in our age of speed boats and motors. I admire their courage and dedication.

I admit i'm a dreamer. I dream about things that are impossible and out of reach. Things that i might never achieve in my life. Some of those dreams are so unrealistic with no financial backbone. One of them is to make an olympic final in flatwater racing. At the start of the year during PC period we were supposed to talk about our future ambitions. I told my class i would like to make an olympic final. The first thing my teacher asked was, "what about a real job". As a singaporean, it's hard to achieve in sports because of the sport system, the education system and our physical disadvantages. People say there's no future, no money. Money always is the biggest problem. But i've dreamt this dream since watching the titans at the Athens olympics. They are literally titans amongst europeans. There's no way anyway who isn't as serious as them can come close to matching them.

With this as while as the coming IB examinations and results, the time to make a choice on a university will come sooner or later. Sooner than most A level students that's for sure as our results are released earlier and we know exactly what we have to work with. So the question is whether to give the universities over there a shot, or stick here in singapore and try to take a road not taken. I don't think scholarship appeals so much to me anymore and the only reason i can say this is because my family is more well to do. If not i'll be rushing and shoving my way to get one. Financial reasons is what the world revolves about. The bonds aren't attractive. I like freedom to choose and that isn't what i'll get. Not say i'll confirm get one anyway. I'm not say very smart or study very hard type.

So overseas or local. To tell you the truth i don't really know now. Overseas wil be so fun. So many new things to see and experience. Canoeing will also disappear from my life for a long time. No presence in singapore, no selection, no dream to fulfil. If local, can save money, i wont see the world, I might try 2 years of serious training. Without study. Even if it's hopeless, I might still try. At least when i die i won't think back and regret. There's so much regret over the past years already. Enough is enough.

I'm playing with my life...
that's not good....

Gymnopédie No.1- a song for rainy days.

Friday, September 21, 2007


Today is end of prelims. Now can relax abit and recharge for final charge. At the same time pray my results are relatively fine. Had South Zone colours ceremony at CHIJ Toapayoh too. Quite interesting, but too sleepy from paper and can't really think.

I heard ACC women did pretty well by making finals in korea. Nice job. Our sport is developing slowly and i hope people will slowly start to realise this and the amount of sacrifices these athletes make.

KOREAAAAAA LAAA! WAH KAO! How i miss this kind of trip! I miss everything LAAAAAAAAhhhH!!!! i missed putrajaya, Thailand,and now KOREAAAaa. Screeeee....

ok that's enough ranting.


To every little thing in life.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Love Me by: Collin Raye

An incident last week reminded me of this song. Grandma dreamt of my grandpa standing in her room staring at his photo kept away safely somewhere.

It's been a long while now. She still loves him deeply...

Thursday, September 13, 2007

prelims wk 1

1 week of prelims is draining. 1 more week to go. Yi is complaining about econs 1 together with Physics 1 and 2. HAHA. I complain about Econs 2 and chem 1 and 2 la!!! Econs 2 is three sides of paper to rush in 1 hour followed by another hour of chem and 2hr 15 of structured answers!
7 papers in 3 days + today's english = tired.

Physics 1 was real bad and Chem 2 is damn careless. EL A1 can't tell what's good and what's bad so let's just skip that. Econs is ok so far, as long as didn't off tangent the question. Left with another 6 papers. math123, phsyics3, chem3,econs 3 then finish for now. another months time same thing all over.

And what's this! deepavali got paper somemore! Some global awareness thing the programme trying to promote.

Wednesday, September 05, 2007


The Asian Championships is in a week also. I really really wished i could go.To test myself with the region's best, the national champions of each country. But i'm in no form, no physical state nor am i in any battle ready mindset to be able to perform at that level at the moment. The body has weakened and the sharpness of mind has dulled. Aye, sometimes its all about timing. I've said this alot. Wrong place, wrong time.

argh. time for econs.
The dream has to wait abit longer.

Sunday, September 02, 2007


Argh. 7days and 13hrs to the first paper. I can't help but feel the pressure building. I mean...i got no o'lvl cert apart from chinese and and failed higher chinese which i'm still quite angry at. What a waste of 1 year of higher chinese lessons. Quite worried all my subjects expecially for maths and El A1 because my marks havent really been consistent this year. + last year final exam was some freak accident where i did quite well. Stress. All i can do is study hard and pray hard and hopefully things work out.

40 pts seems damn hard for some reason. Got one 7 in the bag. need another 33 more which means all 6 with some 7s and NO 5!. It's not nice to know i've scored almost all 5 for mid terms :/ Everyone also applying for uni ready. I think i'll wait till mid NS and after i know my results which hopefully are quite respectable. It'll give me time to think through what i really want to do and where i want to go without killing my parent's pockets.

Did some paddling in the morning. My shoulder is giving me some problems. I think it's a combination of studying quite a fair bit and not training often which resulted in some strained thing somewhere near my right shoulder blade. Got Uncle teng hao to help me fix the pain and it's feeling alot better now. Oh yeah...Joseph's (big) c1 nelo is damn funky! yellow tiger stripes! Aye...the boat don't matter la. Paddler fast is the main thing. Boat can always buy, paddler must develop slowly. In sir's words: "It takes 4 years to groom a world class k1 paddler." which is very true. Saw that in europe.

Rain again! nice.

.15-ers with DA chairman!