Wednesday, May 17, 2017

Didn't make the international season team

Few weeks ago I didn't manage to qualify for the team that would race this year. It's the first time in many years since I haven't had a race to look forward to. Now I have to start looking for work and hopefully I will still be able to commit the hours to training. I don't really look forward to going back to trainings early in the morning at 6am and late in the evenings at 1730 pm. With work in the middle, it means that it will be really tiring and I hope I can keep my motivation. The past few years though not as successful, I have still been doing my best paddling. Every year I get better and i really enjoy seeing the fruits of my hard work. I'm disappointed but that's life.

I hope that I can continue to be motivated and now to learn to rotate more with the rotating seat. It will be hard but I think I can do it. If I can learn this, I think it will take me to the next level for my paddling. 

I hope that working will be meaningful to me and that I will get to meet some new people. Maybe this will force me out of my comfort zone again and I I can get better from this. I know I will and I hope that I won't just go back to doing what is comfortable.

Better things to come in the future !
Till then,

Sunday, August 30, 2015

Post SEA Games and the grind

Finished 4th at the games. It was pretty disappointing and the season hasn't been going well. For the past few weeks, things started to pick up in training and my performace has improved. Also went back to school for the special semester and did really well. Now the grind starts again with a overloaded semester and training starting to kick into full swing again. Hopefully things will work out over the next few months.

School has been a good alternative perspective to training again. It's good to have something other to think about other than just paddling. Especially so for the past year. I'm looking forward to finishing up school and getting to work. I do feel abit behind now that all my friends have stable jobs and some are getting married and all. 

Sunday, January 11, 2015

Ah ma passed away

I finally have some time to write again. 

Well, ah ma passed away on 3 January 15 at 4.55 am. It's still quite a big thing to take in, one moment she was there, next moment she wasn't. We visited her quite often over the weeks leading up to that day and on the 2nd, signs weren't very good. That afternoon we visited her and her limbs were darkening showing signs of heart failure but we didn't think much of it at that time. I went back in the afternoon to do one more training before returning to the hospital for the evening because the doc told us that time was extremely short. We kept ah ma company that night and at 12 midnight my parents told my brother and I to go home to rest in case we were needed the next day. We went home and slept at 1230am. At 4am I heard my parents reach home for a rest and at 4.37am my mum woke me to say we have to go. 

My mum and dad left first, I with my brother about 10' later. By the time all of us reached, ah ma was gone. My 3rd aunt and uncle was there with her all the way and I was alittle too stunned for words. This was the first time I've been so involved in the process of a family member passing. We saw her on her deathbed, the process of moving her and the funeral arrangements all the way to cremation. I don't know how to describe what I felt from seeing the whole process from start to end.

At least she had a very smooth passing. We know she didn't suffer through her last moments. I hope my mum will cheer up soon, she has been rather solemn the past few days after the cremation. Hope things will pick up soon.

We will all meet again some day. See you again ah ma.

Sunday, November 16, 2014

Flight of the mini drone

Got to test fly the new parrot mini drone my dad brought back from Australia. Pretty cool toy but the battery life of 6-8 minutes is abit too short for an hours charge. Still, for a 100 dollar flying machine with an onboard camera, it's pretty neat! Here's an attempt to take a photo of myself while struggling to keep rolling spider hovering in place :)

Friday, October 31, 2014

Post Asian Games break

haven't written much in a long time but i'm back to just make a log! Pardon my writing but im just gonna put down whatever comes to mind now and its pretty messy structure wise and i dont think i'll bother to write it nicely.

Asian games ended well and it was an amazing experience. Hoped to have done abit better than my 9th place but i'm still pretty stoked with the result. Now i'm coming to the end of my 3 week break after the games and it was good on the mind and body to have some rest from all the training. Finally i have some time to just relax and enjoy my time and not constantly think about how i have to do the next training and how i conduct myself everyday to ensure a good performance at the race. Finally i can just wake up or stay up late and do whatever i want.

With all this time, suddenly thoughts about what i've done thus far come in and out of my mind. Sometimes i do wonder to myself if its worth it? I have never, ever questioned myself before in all my years paddling and i think its something that just comes naturally with 'age'. It could be because of societal pressures, people asking me why i'm still at it after so many years. As some random passerby once asked me, "still playing canoe?"

Its a valid question. Technically yes - still playing canoe. Canoe/kayaking is after all a leisure activity first and foremost. This question maybe comes at a time when suddenly all the remainder of my (non-kayaking) friends are entering the working world(the guys mainly because the girls have been working for ages!). I also think that this question imposes itself on me even more so now because to make it to the asian games was a dream for so many years. And for so many years i did everything to get to where i am today. Now that i have reached the goal, what happens next? Do i try for another 4 years? Am i still living the dream, where does my ability run dry and i have to take a step back and think "hey, that's really all i can do?" What about the other aspects of my life that i have 'neglected' for all these years since i got really serious in this sport? (i started being really serious in 2005-its been 9 years).
Do i keep sacrificing everything to try to be professional like i have done for the past 9 years?

There's alot of questions and i dont think i'll be able to find an answer very soon. Its easy to commit time when you are 15years old and life a breeze. But at 25, the realism tends to set in alittle be more. I still view myself an idealist, but the hard fact of the world is that there is no ideal situation - at least for the majority of us. The dollars start to come in and bug you alot more!

I cant answers the questions about the future at the moment. But i definitely know one thing is that i dont regret the past 9 years of committing totally to paddling. i had a blast and been around the world! met lots of new people. seen alot of new things. did alot of crazier things.

"When work and play become so indistinguishable, that's when you know you love your job". I heard this somewhere, i dont really remember but it sums up how i feel about how i have spent my last 9 years. i really love it.

So yes, still playing canoe. We'll just have to see how long more, i dont really know..

Another thing i do know is that i do want to try other things. I want to see what life's like in the 'working world'. Its different. The people i will interact with is also gonna be different. Truthfully im not keen on the work, but really who loves work? I'll probably have go at a normal job to see if i can fit in somehow.

Well. That's all for now...maybe i'll have time to write another post again soon. Maybe something not related to paddling for a change will be interesting. End off with my favourite poem. It's kept me on track for so many years. Hope it will for whoever reads this too!

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;        5
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,        10
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.        15
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Robert Frost

Saturday, September 20, 2014

XVII Asian games

One week already at the games village. Here's a shot from my room :)

Saturday, June 07, 2014

Training update

Finished National Championships and 2 World Cup races in the past month. Paddling hasn't been going according to plan though. My best on the K1 1000 has been stuck at 4.03 and 200 at 39.97. There's still alot of work to do. The main thing is technique and high percentage endurance which i am lacking and it is costing me valuable time over the last 250m. Hopefully with the extra work i am doing now, in a months time i will be able to clock sub 3.55 timings in K1 and my teamboats will be much better as well.

On a side note, the 3 weeks i spent overseas on the world cup circuit was really good for my mind. It was a really taxing semester and it really helped me to relax and allowed me to find motivation to train hard again. I wont lie, this year there's been alot of motivational issues during training. I think however that i have now overcome it and i will do my best to pull up my performances in the coming weeks.

The world cups were really fun. I enjoy seeing all these people who love racing and paddling so much. Its such a contrast to what it is in the Singaporean kayaking circle. Everyone there really loves it. And they always are wanting to get better. They inspire me and i want to get better too. I want to be surrounded by these type of people.

The accommodation at prague was also amusing. We stayed in some old hotel which probably was a mental hospital or jail in the past. The lower level was renovated but the higher levels were in their original state. Its abit eerie but still everyone had alot of fun there!

Well, I'll be around for afew more weeks and then its back to Hungary for 6 weeks of training and World Championships. Till the next update! Godbless.