Sunday, September 24, 2017

ACC Selection

Today i went for the final selection for Asian Championships.
I missed being selected by 1 second. I had the 2nd place at the last 50m but was overtaken by mervyn and aiman at the end. Maybe my mistake was to start the finish to early. Maybe i should have chased the 2nd 250m abit more. its hard to say which is better.

Feeling abit down again. I hope it will pass and i can get on with building on this.

I will have to write down what i need to do and focus on it tremendously to make the big jump. At least this season i still have a new personal best of 3.48 on the k1 1000m and 21.45 on the 5km. That's still something to be happy about.

Back to the drawing board i guess.

head up zeke.

Sunday, August 27, 2017

3rd week of August 2017


I've started to settle into the lifestyle of training early and late and working through the day without a nap. At the start it seemed impossible to do but I'm getting a hang of it. I still do wish for a half hour nap everyday though.. I feel it would benefit everyone's health a lot. 

Training has been quite okay. Having a rough time handling the rotating seat in the afternoon windy and wavey conditions. But I will keep practicing. Maybe I might never get to race internationally again but still, it's something I wanna do. My timings over the distances are still pretty similar to when I was training much harder. Maybe I was pushing my body too hard? Maybe I didn't give it enough time to recover and grow? I'll try to keep this in mind going forward. The juniors have been okay to train with. Somehow, they make me feel carefree again. All the people my age are worrying about promotions, pay, dealing with bosses and colleagues. I have to deal with these now too, but when I go paddling I feel free again. And the juniors remind me of this. And I really like that feeling of not being bogged down.

I should train alittle more hours though. Some days I struggled with abit of motivation. Have to try to keep my head up and smile. 

Work has been ok. I think my colleagues are getting used to me. The things I do, and the style I work. People have been nice. I did a 3D art thing for them. I kinda volunteered for it. My reasons is to show them I can do it much better and faster than their usual practices. Hopefully it can ignite abit of spark? I feel sometimes there is too much line drawing on what is mine and what is not. We should all do our best I feel. Minimally is to give our best effort. If I let this project go the usual way it would probably take a month to get the first draft. Now after a week of work, it's almost done. I hope the people that work with me feel something about what I did. At least I know some of them feel it's cool :) 

Other than these things, Jori's girl turned a month old today'! I really made the effort to go and visit them. I hope I keep making steps to not be some avoidant of society. Somehow I've become abit like that. I feel I need to start to value these things abit more.

Till next time. 


Sunday, July 30, 2017

1.5 months into working

It's been 1.5 months since i started working. The job has been interesting and the people have been nice to me. I quite like the environment and how things are going at the moment. A little more money each month would be abit better but I try to remind myself to count my blessings. Hopefully the next few months go as smooth as they are now.

Training has been tiring. Early mornings and no more naps between sessions in the afternoon and reaching back at past 7pm. Feels almost like when I was back in acs ib when the days are long and there is no rest. It'/ alittle bit worse now because back then I didn't have a morning session but had to still reach school by 715am. So same same? I also have been trying something new during the trainings. One hard session in the morning and mainly technique stuff or light stuff in the pm. One of the things that I noticed that wasn't good was my constant stacking of fatigue which may be what is hindering my quality of trainings and growth. Will see how it goes in the long term but at the moment I'm doing okay. There's still a ways to go before I can say I am deserving of qualifying for another international race, but I have faith and belief. And above all I think I still love paddling as much as I have. Like wang chao said, I have to learn to overcome myself before I can overcome anybody else. 

So I keep working. 
And have faith and enjoy the road ahead.

Till next time,

Wednesday, May 17, 2017

Didn't make the international season team

Few weeks ago I didn't manage to qualify for the team that would race this year. It's the first time in many years since I haven't had a race to look forward to. Now I have to start looking for work and hopefully I will still be able to commit the hours to training. I don't really look forward to going back to trainings early in the morning at 6am and late in the evenings at 1730 pm. With work in the middle, it means that it will be really tiring and I hope I can keep my motivation. The past few years though not as successful, I have still been doing my best paddling. Every year I get better and i really enjoy seeing the fruits of my hard work. I'm disappointed but that's life.

I hope that I can continue to be motivated and now to learn to rotate more with the rotating seat. It will be hard but I think I can do it. If I can learn this, I think it will take me to the next level for my paddling. 

I hope that working will be meaningful to me and that I will get to meet some new people. Maybe this will force me out of my comfort zone again and I I can get better from this. I know I will and I hope that I won't just go back to doing what is comfortable.

Better things to come in the future !
Till then,

Sunday, August 30, 2015

Post SEA Games and the grind

Finished 4th at the games. It was pretty disappointing and the season hasn't been going well. For the past few weeks, things started to pick up in training and my performace has improved. Also went back to school for the special semester and did really well. Now the grind starts again with a overloaded semester and training starting to kick into full swing again. Hopefully things will work out over the next few months.

School has been a good alternative perspective to training again. It's good to have something other to think about other than just paddling. Especially so for the past year. I'm looking forward to finishing up school and getting to work. I do feel abit behind now that all my friends have stable jobs and some are getting married and all. 

Sunday, January 11, 2015

Ah ma passed away

I finally have some time to write again. 

Well, ah ma passed away on 3 January 15 at 4.55 am. It's still quite a big thing to take in, one moment she was there, next moment she wasn't. We visited her quite often over the weeks leading up to that day and on the 2nd, signs weren't very good. That afternoon we visited her and her limbs were darkening showing signs of heart failure but we didn't think much of it at that time. I went back in the afternoon to do one more training before returning to the hospital for the evening because the doc told us that time was extremely short. We kept ah ma company that night and at 12 midnight my parents told my brother and I to go home to rest in case we were needed the next day. We went home and slept at 1230am. At 4am I heard my parents reach home for a rest and at 4.37am my mum woke me to say we have to go. 

My mum and dad left first, I with my brother about 10' later. By the time all of us reached, ah ma was gone. My 3rd aunt and uncle was there with her all the way and I was alittle too stunned for words. This was the first time I've been so involved in the process of a family member passing. We saw her on her deathbed, the process of moving her and the funeral arrangements all the way to cremation. I don't know how to describe what I felt from seeing the whole process from start to end.

At least she had a very smooth passing. We know she didn't suffer through her last moments. I hope my mum will cheer up soon, she has been rather solemn the past few days after the cremation. Hope things will pick up soon.

We will all meet again some day. See you again ah ma.

Sunday, November 16, 2014

Flight of the mini drone

Got to test fly the new parrot mini drone my dad brought back from Australia. Pretty cool toy but the battery life of 6-8 minutes is abit too short for an hours charge. Still, for a 100 dollar flying machine with an onboard camera, it's pretty neat! Here's an attempt to take a photo of myself while struggling to keep rolling spider hovering in place :)