Sunday, November 12, 2017

Start of new season and last month at parks


Tmr is the start of the new season. New goals and the beginning of another year of trying to get better at paddling. My aims are very personal now, I just want to keep getting better. I hope I can achieve the things I set out to do. It will be tiring, and maybe there will be long periods of training alone again. But I will remind myself to keep my head up and enjoy the process.

It's the same with my last month at nparks. I have enjoyed my time here and I found the work something meaningful. Not much complaints apart from maybe I would like to earn alittle more. At the beginning of this journey I didn't know how much I needed to get through a month. Now I've really learnt about the real importance of money and how I spend my time.

Still, I hope they will find something for me to do for next year. It's been great for me so far. I feel more balanced and it gave me the feeling of enjoying what I do again. Be it paddling or work. 

Fingers crossed for the new season and year of working ahead.

Till then.

Saturday, November 04, 2017

2nd week of break


Since the selection, I've tried to keep my mind busy with other things. And with work, it was just right that the exhibition came a few weeks after which kept me busy. I just put my mind into that so that I could keep myself occupied and to keep the morale up. I guess it worked. 

The past few weeks seemed to go by pretty fast and I enjoyed myself. But with the end of the exhibition things started to slow down again and the extra time seems to be catching up along with the thought about what happens next?

Do I try to get another contract? Do I go head on with training without the possibility of every making it to the games. Currently it's a blur and it irritates me alittle.

It however seems to me that the only little chance I have is to be away for a long time. It makes it impossible to keep working though I've started to enjoy it alittle and got a nice bunch that I get along with. I can't imagine doing all that again next year from scratch. Not sure how to proceed from here actually.

The other thing that irritates me is the constant talk about money. I don't understand my aversion to being in conversations about it but i just have a general distaste for hearing about how much people are making and how it would be great to be part of this or that job.

Maybe I'm just not meant to live in the city.
Hope things sort itself out soon.