3rd week of August 2017

Hey, 

I've started to settle into the lifestyle of training early and late and working through the day without a nap. At the start it seemed impossible to do but I'm getting a hang of it. I still do wish for a half hour nap everyday though.. I feel it would benefit everyone's health a lot. 

Training has been quite okay. Having a rough time handling the rotating seat in the afternoon windy and wavey conditions. But I will keep practicing. Maybe I might never get to race internationally again but still, it's something I wanna do. My timings over the distances are still pretty similar to when I was training much harder. Maybe I was pushing my body too hard? Maybe I didn't give it enough time to recover and grow? I'll try to keep this in mind going forward. The juniors have been okay to train with. Somehow, they make me feel carefree again. All the people my age are worrying about promotions, pay, dealing with bosses and colleagues. I have to deal with these now too, but when I go paddling I feel free again. And the juniors remind me of this. And I really like that feeling of not being bogged down.

I should train alittle more hours though. Some days I struggled with abit of motivation. Have to try to keep my head up and smile. 

Work has been ok. I think my colleagues are getting used to me. The things I do, and the style I work. People have been nice. I did a 3D art thing for them. I kinda volunteered for it. My reasons is to show them I can do it much better and faster than their usual practices. Hopefully it can ignite abit of spark? I feel sometimes there is too much line drawing on what is mine and what is not. We should all do our best I feel. Minimally is to give our best effort. If I let this project go the usual way it would probably take a month to get the first draft. Now after a week of work, it's almost done. I hope the people that work with me feel something about what I did. At least I know some of them feel it's cool :) 

Other than these things, Jori's girl turned a month old today'! I really made the effort to go and visit them. I hope I keep making steps to not be some avoidant of society. Somehow I've become abit like that. I feel I need to start to value these things abit more.

Till next time. 

Zeke