2nd week of August

 Hi,

Things seem to be going back to normal again with COVID-19 starting to become another of those 'oh again?' kind of headlines. People are starting to become numb to it and it is showing in the way they behave. The eateries are becoming packed again, the roads are starting to jam up and more people are coming out to do leisure activities. 

Life will have to just carry on, as it always has. 

Roger's birthday was yesterday as well. Put a big piece of bread on his stone and brought his chain out to walk around the estate as we would do. He would have liked it i guess. Miss him but am glad that he is free from his old body which was not allowing him to fully enjoy his life. In the last part his legs were very weak and there were skin warts starting to show up on his body. He also had some cataracts but he seemed happy to the end. 

Miss his doggy nature though. 

Been getting tired from work the past few weeks with more and more things being given to me. I'm trying to strike a balance and still train at a high quality and not compromise my work. I think once i can get to that stage, i will be able to really enjoy everything.

Trading has also been quite okay. been generally staying out of trouble but there are still some bad habits i need to address. The main thing is to keep learning and changing and building my rules to keep myself safe. Good thing is that i've started to reduce my risk exposure and withdraw quite abit of money this year. Will keep at it and hopefully good things are to come.

See you in the next one.

zeke

Played with dog from office

There's a golden retriever that comes by to my work place everyday. He's brought there by a domestic helper from the condo area. He's really cute and lies on the ground in the seal position. 

He reminds me of when Roger was younger and would lie down in the seal position too. 

Really miss Roger the past few days. Recently had a dream of him sitting beside the tv but looking sad. I'm put some bread on his stone and hope he's ok and not hungry.

Miss you Roger. Can't believe it's almost your 17 birthday soon.

Phase 2 reopening

So we enter phase two of the economy reopening today. It means going back to work though on an alternate week basis. Many safe distancing measures are to be in place and a lot of restrictions still as civil 19 remains a risk to the health and economy of the world. 

I sit back today and reflect abit on the past weeks. To be honest this lockdown was a much needed rest from everything. I didn't need to paddl, didn't have to go to work and spent a lot of time at home. I was totally overwhelmed by things since January when I went for reservist. After that I started work and had no more weekends till April. So the civil situation allowed me to enjoy a proper weekend again and I'm thankful for that.

Kinda sad that now that we are reopening the streets are so packed with vehicles again. They also started cutting the trees and grass which looked so much better in its natural state. Also I'm used to the current situation and am not looking forward to changing again but it will have to happen.

I've found back some joy in exercising and chasing small personal goals. I've done my best 5km run and my furthest cycling distance. Also made some speed trials over 40km cycling which I'm proud of. Also fell sick in the last week which isn't fun..but am recovering back to almost 100% now. Hopefully gonna be able to manage the new normal. Looking for more success and more enjoyment in the times to come.

Last week of full lockdown COVID 19

Hi,

Today's monday 25 May 2020. It's the start of the last week of full lockdown. Currently its the middle of the night and I couldnt sleep so i thought that i should come here and make another entry.

The past weeks have been pretty similar. Just starting the days with a cycle session and then eating breakfast and doing some work that is possible from home. Once i'm done or at about 5pm I'll put in a weights session in the evening before dinner. Once that's done, I either eat dinner and start preping for the market open at 9,30 or i'll take a short nap. I'm usually done about 11pm and then i turn off the systems and call it a night. Since the start of May I started learning Japanese abit more seriously with a subscription to Lingodeer app. Its pretty good foundation laying and I've been trying to squeeze in at least an hour or two of lessons or reviews everyday since 5 may. Now, I'm about 75% through JPLT N5. hopefully i can remember the lessons for more than just the short term. It's gonna be like sport. It has to be done consistently and that's what i'm aiming to do.

Also spent some time using my PS4 and steam more since i have the weekends to properly rest now. I like the balance that this stay home has brought about. But soon it'll be back to work and i hope to be able to contribute meaningfully again. Also looking forward to getting back into my boat. I admit i needed this break from the water. I was getting abit bored of the routine and the same faces again and again. It was good to get away from that place for awhile. The atmosphere, the pressure and the negativity that has been surrounding the area.

There were a few times when i was doing my evening gym in the garden when i also thought about roger. Still missing the old boy. I'm wondering how he's doing now. Ever since I started work, i sense less and less of him around. He still comes back into my thoughts randomly like when i was lying at his spot doing leg lifts and i thought to myself: "so this is what roger sees everyday". Also i thought about how happy he would be that i'm spending so much time outside with him if he was still around. Put some bread at his stone as usual and brought his chain out when i went for evening strolls on sundays. I hope he can still enjoy walking with me if he's still around. At least that's the feeling I have when i carry his chain when i go out to walk. This is reality after all. Those that have gone will never come back. unlike all the stories and shows and games we play.

That's why I keep reminding myself to cherish the moment and pushing forward.

See you on the other side.

till the next one

Start of May

Covid 19 circuit breaker was extended to June. Been spending a lot of time on the bike cycling in the morning and doing weights in the evenings. During the weekdays I'll try to get some work done and also get a lap in since I'm home. I've been getting used to this routine and am liking the balance it brings.

Also, I took the plunge and purchased a Japanese language app. Started the first few modules and am liking the progression. It's more fun than classroom style learning so I'm enjoying it thus far. The Chinese background helps a lot as I already know the meanings of a lot of kanji. The only thing is the sentence structure and orinounciation that get me. If it goes well and I have time when work goes back to normal, I will consider subbing for afew more months to get a good introduction to the language.

My aim is to be able to watch Japanese shows or walk and listen to Japanese conversations and be able to know what they are talking about.

Also been learning some photoshop skills to add to my skill set for work projects. It's really powerful and it would be nice to know how to do more with this program. It's really great that youtube has so much free content on how to use these and I wished that they were around when I was much younger. I only started watching YouTube videos after 2008 when Facebook dis lily caught on and smart phones started to exist.

I remember a time when internet connections were so bad it wasn't worth using. Haha...things have really gotten much better.

Also been stretching more again since I have the time. Hope to be more flexible again.

Other than that, nothing much else has changed.

Till the next one.

Zeke

Corona virus stay home week 2/6

Hey, it's been awhile again.. Last time I sat down to write was in early December but the post was lost. After 2020 started and Geri went home, I enjoyed abit of January training alone mostly. Sometimes the young boys joined me and I appreciated the company. After Chinese New Year I went in for what was possibly the longest reservist cycle I've had since I orded in 2009. But it was alright, the guys were around and it got me through it. I fell pretty sick with some conjunctivitis but recovered relatively quickly. It made me worry about how I would do for the selections in March but I got through that pretty well too.

After reservist, I started my new job at the people's association. The team was friendly and welcoming and I tried to learn things quickly and contribute to the effort. Messed up some stuff but I'm starting to get a hang of things. After starting work, time went by really fast because I didn't really have a day to myself where I could just laze around anymore. Everyday was waking early for training, working, another evening training and then home for the U.S. Market open where I traded till about 11pm before sleeping. Weekends were mainly at work to cater to the weekend crowds. 

I guess it helped me to pass time quicker and also try to make something of myself in the workforce. Then the coved situation started to ramp up and I was helping out at the community centers and resident committee in my area with the distribution of masks to the public. I felt good about it and felt like I was doing my part to combat this crisis. 

To be honest, if I didn't paddle so much, I might have been a soldier or something. I've always looked up to heroes in the stories and always believed in combating evil and what not. If there really was a war, I think I'll be the first to go fight..

Now the stay home just got extended again. A lot of disruptions but I generally feel alright. For training I do a lot of cycling or running and am lucky to have the gym set at my place to do workouts. Originally brandy and sy were supposed to come over but they passed the new laws that disallowed it. I wouldn't mind it actually if they came. When I gym alone in the garden sometimes I think to myself if Roger was around he would be so happy to have company in the garden. I do wish he was still around.

Working from home, I'm used to being alone so it's not an issue. I see some people struggling with it but it's just different characters and responses to the same situation I guess. I've always been comfortable on my own so I guess I have an easier time. 

Also have some time to catch up on FFVII remake which just launched. Brings back so many memories of when I first played in back in early 2001. I didn't cry when aerith died but I liked her a lot as a character. Cloud too was a hero of mine. The remake expands the story well and gives me the time to understand the characters much better. The voice acting also changes a lot as I don't have to read text and try to understand what emotions the characters are actually going through. Now I can hear it in their voice and through the improved facial graphics. I love this game and could play it to death.

Anyway that's about all I've to write for now. Stay home and stay safe.

Till the next one.

Missing roger

2 weeks just past in a flash since Roger went to heaven. I still miss him but am slowly accepting that he's in a better place. Thought I heard him bark one morning last week which was interesting. Also dreamt of him going back to our old home at 46 Jln khairrudin in signal where he got into the back seat of my car when I parked in the garage. Also thought I smelt his scent one morning while lying on the living room couch where he would come and sleep beside me in the afternoons between trainings.

Spent time decorating his gravestone which looks much nicer now with the potted plants and the windvanes. Also made a nice picture collage of him which we put in the outside living area where he usually slept during the day. His chain leash and cremation tag hung on the wall. 

I also brought his leash for afew round around the area where we normally go for walks so that I didn't feel so lonely when I wanted to go for an evening walk. Tims and peck came to visit him and we hung out reminiscing old times when they came over to play halo or Dow after our final exams back in 2004-2005 when Roger was only afew years old. Had a nice game on the Nintendo switch mario party and kart which we set up in one of the rooms. 

Jori's also came by and saw Roger's stuff and told me about the time he almost got bitten by him when he snuck up on him sleeping. Those were good times.

Its much more quiet now. When I do stuff through the day I'll just randomly remember incidences and things that Roger would do. For example when I went to get dinner, I just suddenly thought of how he was come walking by the corner and start sniffing near the table asking for a bite of whatever I was taking. Or when it rains or thunders how he would start barking to call me to keep him company. Still missing his doggy antics but I'm glad I got to spend as much time with him as I did. Especially the last few days when he was very sick.

I am also glad that he didn't look like he suffered in his final days. He was healthy and had no other health issues other than the stroke he suffered and he passed very quickly and suddenly. I hope he didn't suffer much and I hope he knows that we miss him and were with him all the way till the end.

Love you Roger. Wait for me when I come over.